So I had this moment this past week, and I thought I’d share it with you. I was nearing the end of my work day, and feeling pretty depressed. The sky was gray, there hadn’t been very many visitors out to my trailer that day, and in general things were feeling bleak. I wanted to just go home, read a book, and finish hemming the warm wool skirt I started sewing on Sunday, but instead I had a full schedule of tutoring plus dancing afterwards.
On a whim, right before I turned off my computer, I decided that, since the next day was payday, I’d check to see if my newest pay stub had been posted online. I looked, and it was. When I saw the number on it, first I thought that was the amount I was paid before taxes, and I kinda sighed to myself. Then I looked again and realized that no, that was the amount I was being paid after taxes. I kinda blinked, and the triumphal trumpet blasts started playing. And you know, there is nothing to break a girl out of her funk like nice round numbers on her pay check! As I drove away, it was all I could do not to roll down my window and yell things out into the traffic, things like, “Gainfully employed! I’m gainfully employed! Gainful f-ing employment! I’ve got a freaking job! Yeeeeaaaaah!” You know, like that.
I had a little time to kill before tutoring, so I decided to stop in to Half Price books, both because I think it’s shameful that I work so close to a used book store and hadn’t stopped in before, and because, you know, I could now afford to spend a few bucks on a book. I headed straight to the crafts section to see if they’d gotten any decent knitting books in. And there, on the shelves was a book that is kinda one of the Holy Grails of knitting: Alice Starmore’s Book of Fair Isle Knitting. Until it was recently republished (after being out of print for some twenty years) the only way you could get a copy was by paying huge bucks on eBay. (Even now there’s still a copy of the first edition going for $65.) But there it was, on the Half Price Books shelf with a sticker on it that said $15.99.
It gets better. Below it was a copy of Knitting In The Old Way, another knitting Holy Grail, for $14.99, and The Harmony Guide to Aran and Fair Isle Knitting, and The Art of Fair Isle Knitting by Ann Feitelson, all really excellent books. There were a couple of others, but that’s what I can remember right now. All I know is that I hit the total knitting jackpot. It was a amazing.
And then, as I was looking through my armful of incredible knitting books, trying to decide just how many I could afford to bring home with me, one of my favorite songs of all time came on over the store radio. I swear, if heavenly light had started shining down upon me, and birds came to perch on my shoulders while the animals of the forest crept close to bask in my awesomeness, I would not have been surprised. Then, of course, I checked the time, discovered that I was now late for tutoring, checked out in a hurry, and headed off to the rest of my day. But it was pretty cool.
Work continues to be that odd mix of very busy and lonely. However, things are looking up. The day after I wrote my last post I had a real conversation with the admin in the next trailer (all about socks, and what color of shoes are appropriate with dark blue uniforms), and then ran into her again later at Target. And then yesterday I found out that on Monday they’re moving me out of the trailer into a temporary office off the hallway between the security box and the ER, so hopefully I’ll be less isolated soon.
Also, on Friday the rest of my actual HR team (I really do have a team, I swear!) came to tour the building where our real offices will be located. It was really, really good to see them. I think part of why I’ve been getting so lonely is because I feel so disconnected and on my own, not part of a team that I am supporting, who will support me in return. It was great to see these people with whom I have been e-mailing, who I don’t know very well, who don’t really know me much either, but with whom I hope to build something that will make having to wear heels to work maybe almost worth it. And maybe one day I’ll even know them well enough to give them nicknames for the blog. 🙂
The tour of the building was very interesting. It’s still under construction, and won’t be ready until sometime in March, so we all had to put on ill-fitting hard hats to go in. So far they’ve got drywall up, so you can see the shape of the rooms, but not much else. I have to admit that I was a little disappointed. I had heard much about fabled windows of amazing size, and I had been hoping (against all past experience) that perhaps one might be visible from where I’ll be sitting. But of course not. And the way it sounded like the front office is going to be set up sounds like a very awkward arrangement. My boss didn’t sound very sure of what she remembered from the plans (the arrangement of the font office is not exactly her first concern right now), so I’m hoping dher memory is inaccurate. On Monday, after I get moved, I’m planning to see if there’s any way I can get a look at the building plans to find out.
The really interesting part was when we were done looking around, and tried to leave. The guy who was supposed to be giving us the tour had never showed up (he’s insanely busy, so this wasn’t much of a surprise), so we were showing ourselves around. When we headed back to the door we’d come in through, we discovered that it was locked. We found another door going out through the construction, and it was locked too. It was late in the day, after hours, so there were no workers around, and it was getting cold. One of my co-workers started making noises about things starting to look like something from a horror movie. I didn’t much care about that, but I had left my coat in the trailer, and I did mind the cold. Thankfully not too much later my boss tracked down what must have been the last construction worker still in the building, who let us out the far door into the muddy rock patch that will eventually be our parking lot.
And that’s pretty much my news. So far this weekend has been mostly eaten by a cold that I had been trying to pretend I didn’t have. That only worked until about eight o’clock Friday night when I fell asleep on the couch, and didn’t really wake up until ten o’clock the next morning. Yesterday I managed to get a few things done (tutoring, the last few rows on Mr. T’s last sock, the guage swatch for Fleur’s birthday present), but mostly I slept. This morning I woke up without my alarm, feeling really rested for the first time in weeks. It was marvelous.