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So this morning I was IMing with Zanzibar, and things got kinda awesome.  So I thought I’d share (btw, this is coming in part way through, after a discussion of the fact that Zanzibar thinks it’s creepy when Daniel Craig tries to smile).  It’s kinda long, but believe me, it’s worth it!  Enjoy:

Bernadette
I think the Captain America posters, the ones that show him in profile, make him look like he’s played by Daniel Craig

Zanzibar
haha chris evans?
cause he was cap!

Bernadette
yeah, he was
but in the posters, it looks kinda like Daniel Craig

Zanzibar
ewww! i hadn’t noticed!
cause chris evans can smile, is a damn good looking guy too
 Bernadette
yeah, he is!
 Zanzibar
i mean not as like hot as thor but who is?
 Bernadette
mmmm
actually, I disagree
Thor was hot, but I didn’t have a crush on him after the movie
I definitely did have a crush on Captain America
Zanzibar
how do you argue with a 6’4 blond hair blue eyed god of thunder who is more cut than the sunday coupons?
 Bernadette
6’4″ unconceited American god of amazingness?
Zanzibar
cap was 6’2! hehe
 Bernadette
and I’m 5’4″, so it doesn’t make much difference to me!
Zanzibar
LOL
well played
 Bernadette
that unconceited part – makes a HUGE difference
also, seems a lot smarter than Thor, who’s pretty stupid when you get down to it
 Zanzibar
haha thor isn’t stupid just rarely meets problems he can’t solve with his hammer
 Bernadette
he’s stupid because he almost never thinks beyond his hammer
he has no habits of thinking at all
 Zanzibar
hmm i guess thor would scale on the wisdom not intelligence sie
but in more recent years of comics he hasn’t been an idiot, minus the trusting loki part
 Bernadette
I’m only going off the movies, so I’m afraid comic book evidence is inadmissable
 Zanzibar
HAH
well in the movies thor learns humbleness and while not a genius he does have a good heart
but then again both are heroes
and neither are Tony Stark
 Bernadette
and Captain America is a good man, which is sexier than anything
Tony Stark is a disaster waiting to happen
a hot disaster, but still, the kind of guy you want to stay as far away from as possible
Zanzibar
haha
tony stark is like an amusement park, fun for an afternoon, but long term hazardness to your health
 Bernadette
I would posit that even an afternoon would be toxic
Zanzibar
HAHA
well yeah
but you know
 Bernadette
like contracting the kind of really nasty food poisoning that makes you go to the ER and leaves you debilitated for weeks
 Zanzibar
LOL
 Bernadette 
sure the snack was tasty, but it wasn’t worth that!
Captain America, however, is the kind of guy you want to be around long term
Zanzibar
a class act
take you out for a nice night on the town
and isn’t emotionally needy like say spiderman
 Bernadette
he’s the kind of guy who would come home every night
help do the dishes after dinner, and give baby his bath
and then give you a footrub
and look amazingly hot while doing it
 Zanzibar
and jump out the window to save someone from a fire
 Bernadette
and work on your brother’s car on the weekend
 Zanzibar
after defeating a giant evil robot
AND
using some of the parts from said robot to fix car
 Bernadette
exactly
he fought off two ninjas while giving jr. his bath too
jr. helped
Zanzibar
hahaha
love it
 Bernadette
and this is why the captain will always be hotter than both Thor & Tony Stark
 Zanzibar
yeah i mean thor would be such a conflict for you as well
the different religions
you believing in the christian god…him being a pagan god
talk about complicated
 Bernadette
HA
plus, there’s the whole I like to talk about things, and he only likes to talk about his “hammer”
Zanzibar
HAHA actually in the movie once he was on earth he did more listening than talking
 Bernadette
true
which is why I do like him
Zanzibar
thor would be a great big brother
 Bernadette
but I don’t have enough patience to deal with a guy like that any more
yeah, he would be a GREAT big brother/best guy friend
Zanzibar
fun and safe to drink with (he will literally carry you home hehe), alway stick up for you
 Bernadette
that kind of stuff is so much easier to deal with when it doesn’t matter like it does with someone who’s a significant other
he’d be a lot of fun to tease
can you imagine getting in a tickle fight with Thor?
 Zanzibar
YOU CAN NOT TICKLE THE MIGHTY THOR
PREPARE TO BE DEFEATED BY THE RASPBERRIES OF THOR
 Bernadette
HAHAHAHAHAHA
if there is anything that life with Boy-O has prepared me for, it would be that
Zanzibar
so cap for boyfriend
thor for best friend
and stark for that crazy awesome uncle
 Bernadette
you think I’d let a man like that around my kids?
not until he went to a heck of a lot of 12 step meetings
at which point he would be Robert Downey Jr., not Tony Stark
Robert Downey Jr., btw, rules all the worlds
Zanzibar
hahaha
i’m just saying rich goofy eccentric uncle?
 Bernadette
and Cap?  he’s the marrying kind
Zanzibar
i’d want him to be my uncle
not the uncle to my kids
thats thor
 Bernadette
true
Zanzibar
cause stark would drive my parents nuts with the overly loud and expensive toys
 Bernadette
yes
but he’d still underwrite your college education
and throw you a heck of a graduation party
Zanzibar
oh yeah
dude he’d buy you a college
i can see him now “tell you what you get a 4.0 and i’ll get you a date with the maxim cover girl”
 Bernadette
you get a 4.0, and I’ll get you Ryan Gosling’s private number
Zanzibar
oooo
yeah
 Bernadette
all those “hey, girl…”s can come true!
Zanzibar
HAHA
 Zanzibar
WOW thats awesome
 Bernadette
even better?  a  couple of late night hosts have tried to get him to read them out loud
 Zanzibar
haha now that would be amazing
 Bernadette
this world just keeps getting better and better
Zanzibar
i like our fake world
 Bernadette
except I seem to be getting the better end of the deal
Zanzibar
wait i thought I was marrying cap
 Bernadette
naw, man
I don’t think he goes that way
 Zanzibar
damnit
well i don’t either, but for cap i would lol
 Bernadette
hmmm
true
I’ll tell you what
you can have Tony Stark, and I get Cap
but we’ll split Thor
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