The other day Lucy sent me what is possibly the awesomest thing ever. It seems that the staff at The Oregon Ballet Theatre started speculating one day on who would take the other in a fight between the female protagonists of two of their upcoming productions. On the one hand you have Carmen, the fiery factory worker who carries a knife, and on the other, Giselle, a betrayed ghost who makes traitorous men dance themselves to death. In some ways it’s the bad girls vs. the good girls, and they’ve put together a whole tournament bracket of Team Carmen vs. Team Giselle to help decide what they’re calling The Tragic Heroine Throwdown. (You can download and print a handy bracket here.) The contest is being decided on their blog and facebook page, and you can contribute by commenting or “Like”ing one contestant over another. Day One of the competition is already done, but you can still vote for Day Two.
So this is what my tournament bracket looks like:
Click on the pic to embiggen, or click here for a pdf version.
Basically, the way I see it, you don’t mess with Emma Thompson. Ever. Even Moneypenny (who, as a secretary, pretty much runs the world) can’t stand up to The Emma. But then there’s Angelina Jolie. You can’t make all those action adventure movies without picking up something. Plus she manages to cart all those kids halfway around the world every other week or so, which betrays either a logistical genius or the wit to hire really, really good staff. In a matchup with The Emma (and why isn’t she Dame Emma yet?), I’m afraid that Angelina would win, even if Emma would have all the good lines while losing.
On the other side, it’s pretty much Esther all the way. I mean, did you see what she did to Haman? That’s one serious woman. Anything so badass that it’s still celebrated over 2000 years later is pretty sweet. Plus, she’s the queen of an empire, so her logistical skills and knack for hiring talent has got to at least equal Angelina’s any day. Plus, while Angelina has to rely on a special effects and CGI departments for her stunts, Esther did all hers the old fashioned way. So, you know, that’s how I think it would end up.
Also, I would like to say that Lucy is awesome, and she could probably kick Esther’s butt any day, if only because she gave me something to think about that was not wedding-related.