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Warning: I have not yet had my coffee today.

I have no idea what I’m going to be for Halloween.  I remember the good old days (like, before I started swing dancing) when I didn’t care.  Dressing up for Halloween was entirely optional, and perhaps best left for children.  A grown-up’s job was to dress warmly, sit out on the porch, and distribute candy.  I was good at that.  Then I started dancing, and discovered that one of the Big Events each year was the Halloween Costume Dance.  Starting in September people started asking, “So, what are you going to be for Halloween?”  The first year the dance was on the same night as the TOT wrap-up party.  So I went to that, and listened enviously the next day to KJ’s stories about how she and Hatman dressed up as goths and no one recognized them.  This made me determined to go the next year.  Except the TOT party got scheduled on the same night again.  So I went to the TOT party, dressed in my costume from the Bollywood Music Video we’d just finished filming.  (When people asked me what I was I would look them in the eye, put my hand on their arms and say, “I’m sari.”  Get it?  Sari?  Sorry?  Oh, well, I thought it was funny anyway.)  The only other person who dressed up was Spain, who wore his Swiss Guard costume.

Last year I was bound and determined to make it to the Halloween Dance.  I rescheduled the entire TOT season so that it would not conflict with the swing dance.  I laid my Halloween costume plans well ahead.  I was going to sew.  I was going to craft.  I was going to wear odd make-up.  It was going to be awesome.  And then I remembered that I live in this thing called Reality in which I do not ever have several consecutive hours in which to sit at a sewing machine.  So, yeah, that costume idea never happened.  Instead I went with the grass-skirts from the costume store plus really nice leis which, along with a basket of papayas, equaled Princess Papule, the main character of one of my favorite swing songs.  (“Princess Papule has plenty papayas – she loves to give them away…”)  Well, maybe not a favorite.  One I like.  Well, I liked the costume anyway.

This year… the TOT party conflicts with the swing dance again.  Plus, it’s at my house.  So I’m pretty sure I’m going to be at the TOT party.  Unfortunately, this doesn’t eliminate the need for a Halloween costume.  The other day I got an invitation to the BIG HALLOWEEN BASH put on by Diva and her guy.  To which I intend to go.  It’s a costume party.  And I’m fresh out of ideas.  A while ago I thought it would be funny to do another swing-dancer-inside-joke costume.  I would dress up like a nun, and wear a nametag that said, “Sr. Kate.”  (“I wish I could shimmy like my sister Kate, shakes like a bowl of jelly on a plate.  My momma asked me the other night why all the boys treat Kate so nice…”)  The problem is, well, I don’t have a nun costume, and also I’m not really that good at shimmying.  Sad, but true.

So… I dunno.  I might just wear a lot of black and pretend to be a goth.  Or something.  Or wear a nametag that says, “Hi, my name is God.”  Or something else lame like that.

Anyone have any ideas?