So for the last forever Johnsy’s been cramming for this Huge, Important Test she has to take as part of her Master’s. It’s been an ordeal, not least of which is the two days it takes to actually take the thing. A few days ago when I picked her up from another marathon study session at the library, she declared as soon as she got in the car, “I’m gonna flunk this thing. There’s no question. I’m flunking.” I kinda nodded, and as soon as we got home, looked up the facebook group 30 Things To Do In An Exam When You Know You’re Going To Fail Anyway, and started reading her the suggestions. We especially liked #17: “Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling “I’m here, the phantom of the opera” until they drag you away.” After some discussion we decided that it might not be necessary to sing Phantom of the Opera, that perhaps anything by Andrew Lloyd Weber might do. Then the conversation moved on to other things and we didn’t talk about it again.
Yesterday was the first day of the test. When I got home, Johnsy was there ahead of me, curled up in her favorite chair under her favorite blanket, watching CSI Miami. I asked her if she’d had to sing any Andrew Lloyd Weber. She said no. I said, “Not even anything from Cats? A little ‘Memory’?” Again she said no, and, well, that Horatio Caine has very blue eyes. So that was the end of the conversation.
This morning I took Johnsy to school for the second day of her test. As I held the body of her wheelchair while she put on the wheels, our conversation went a little like this:
Me: “And if necessary, there’s always Andrew Lloyd Weber.”
Johnsy: “Did he write Into The Woods?”
Me: “No, that’s Sondheim.”
Johnsy: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Very sure.”
Johnsy: “Well, I like Into The Woods better. And Rent. I like Rent.”
Me: “Well, what about Cats? Or Evita?”
Johnsy (singing as she’s wheeling away): “Into the woods, into the woods, to Grandmother’s house we go! And home before dark!”
Me (singing after her as I head the opposite direction): “Don’t cry for me, Argentina! The truth is, I never left you!”
I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.