Today I attended the first birthday party of the baby who fell asleep on me at the first swing dance of the year. I haven’t seen him in a long time, but he still likes me, still trusts me enough to cuddle back in my arms and accept goldfish crackers popped into his mouth at regular intervals. His head still fits perfectly into the nook where my arm meets my shoulder. He is still soft and warm and sweet. I couldn’t stay for the whole party, but I got to help him open his presents. He got some pretty cool stuff. I’m a little in awe at the design sophistication that goes into baby toys these days.
Someday I’d really like to have a baby of my own like that. I don’t really see it happening. Beyond the difficulty of finding a guy who really wants all of me (theology, swing dancing, crazy family, issues of various sorts and all), I have too many years of school to go, too many things I have to get done in this life. This was one of the things I had to come to terms with when I realized that I wanted to get my doctorate in theology and become an academic theologian. I guess it’s just hitting me hard today.
In other news, AnniPotts headed off to Ghana this evening. We had breakfast together this morning and said good-bye. In all my family, she’s one of the few who is always excited to hear my news. I know that nine months isn’t forever, but it’s hard to say good-bye. So that’s hitting me hard too.
My Old Roommate isn’t doing well at all. I haven’t blogged about it because every time I say it, it makes it more real and I don’t want it to be real. The doctors stopped the chemotherapy a while back because it wasn’t helping. For a little while they thought there was a chance that treatment with radioactive pellets might help, but recently she was hospitalized because she was just too weak. Now she’s staying at her parents’ house.
It’s that kind of day.