It’s interesting – in the past day or so I’ve found myself telling three seperate young women what they are worth, specifically that they are worth much more than this, whatever “this” means for them. In every single case I got the same response: look down and away while saying some variation of, “Yeah, yeah, I know.” I am 100% sure that while they may know in their head they are worth more, their heart is whispering to them that they don’t deserve any better, that they’re really not worth much, that they’re lucky to have even a painful, inadequate “this.” If I had a bullhorn I couldn’t drown that voice out. For the record, however, this is what each one of them – each one of us, really – is worth:
- We are worth being valued and respected, not for how we look or anything we can do, but because we are human beings created in the image and likeness of God.
- We are worth being loved in healthy and unselfish ways.
- We are worth a guy who is able to communicate his appreciation for us in clear, unambiguous, and respectful ways.
- We are worth not being forced or manipulated into doing anything we don’t want to do.
- We are worth not being used in any way.
- We are worth a guy who cares enough to say no. Specifically, I’ve seen it happen too many times that a girl decides that she likes a guy and starts giving him time and attention and affection. And the guy doesn’t really return the attachment, but he doesn’t have a reason to say no to her. So he hangs out and takes whatever she’s willing to give, but never really gives himself to her in return. She knows that this isn’t really what she wants, but she hangs in there, convinced that any minute now – when he finally trusts her enough, when he finally gets over That Other Girl, when she finally manges to say just the right thing, when he finally gets that job/graduates/figures out what he wants to do – he’s going to realize that he’s loved her madly all along, and everything will be worth it. Except that never happens. Instead sooner or later, either the girl gets fed up and moves on, or the guy finally finds a reason to say no (usually a different girl). And then the first girl is left standing there, with nothing to show, not knowing what in the heck just happened. See, she thought they had a relationship. But no – he just didn’t have a reason to say no. So, guys, here’s your reason: the girl is worth more than that.
We’re worth so much more than that, but I’m going to end my list there.