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Ever had a guy do that really intense, I-am-speaking-to-you-with-my-eyes-from-across-the-room thing, except you have absolutely no idea what he’s saying?  I mean, it could be anything from, “You are the love of my life and I want you to bear my children” to, “I just passed gas.”  Or even, “Boy, that salsa is really hot.”  Or, “The Red Rooster strikes at midnight!”  Or it could be, “That bearing children thing?  Let’s get started right now.”  It’s probably much more like, “I can’t believe you didn’t follow that move I led you in.”  Except you don’t know.  In the past, I’ve spent way too much time and mental energy trying to figure out what was going on in some guy’s head.  I’m kind of allergic to it now.  So to all those guys out there, I’d like to say this (and I’m not speaking only with my eyes!), “You’re big boys now.  It’s time to use your big boy words.”

Speaking of moves, I’m starting to actually learn dips.  This is a big deal for me.  I have Dipping Issues.  Frankly, they terrify me.  I’m not little, and I have a hard time trusting a guy to hold my weight, or even being ok with him knowing how much I weigh.  Truth is, it’s not about weight or size, it’s about counter-balance and things.  In my head I know this.  Particularly in the middle of a dance, however, my body does not, and it does not want to dip.  However, the Swing Doyennes have decided that I’m going to work on this.  The last two practice sessions have been interesting.  It’s a lot like Johnsy’s description of being in therapy (Therapist: “Ooooh!  Sore spot!  Poke!  Poke!  Poke!”)  The very, very cool thing is that, like therapy, it’s working!  The first time I was sick to my stomach with dread before we even started, and I was able to do perhaps nine dips before the panic made me stop (yeah, when I say they terrify me, I really mean it).  The second time I was able to do maybe twenty before the panic started to set in even a little, and a good five or six more before I hit my limit.  Also, they looked and felt much, much better.  And then, on Wednesday night, Eeyore led a dip at the end of our dance and I did it correctly exactly as he led it without thinking.  It was so thrilling we both jumped up and down and gave each other high fives.  So awesome.

Unfortunately, this is still a work in progress.  Friday night a different guy led another dip, one I’m much less comfortable with, and I just didn’t go.  My body just wouldn’t do it.  It wasn’t the guy – I trust this guy a lot.  Just I couldn’t do the dip.  I was kind of anxious about some other things already, which might have had something to do with it, but my body just wouldn’t go into the dip. So I’ll have to work on that some more.  Still, knowing that sooner or later I will be able to do this is pretty freaking cool.

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