Today I did not flirt. I did have a fun & spirited conversation as the opportunity presented itself. I may or may not have facilitated this opportunity by wearing a particular t-shirt. And I smiled a lot. But I did not flirt. I realize that there are approximately four people in the world who have any idea what I’m talking about, and probably only one of those four will read this. But I thought I’d just throw that out there.
Today I’m thinking of how easy it is to get out of contact with people, how simply those bonds slip away. Relationship are very important to me. It’s partly my personality type and partly a philosophical choice. When I meet someone I really like and admire, I want to first be able to build a relationship with them, and then maintain that relationship for a long, long time. I don’t like saying good-bye, and I don’t like losing people. One of my continuing frustrations is my inability (due to being human and limited and all) to invest in all the people/relationships I would like to invest in, or to invest as deeply as I would like/think I should. That’s the point where I have to trust God and let go, which I’m learning how to do little by little.
This comes up a lot when I think about some of the people I’ve met through NET, this national travelling Catholic youth ministry. I did two years travelling and putting on retreats all over the country as part of a team. There are eight teams, so every year a little under a hundred on-fire for God Catholic men and women between the ages of 18 and 30 do this. So you go to training, and there’s approximately 99 other amazing Catholic men and women that you wish you could invest in, build relationships with, become lifelong friends. The reality is that you’re only going to be able to build a few solid relationships that will stand the test of time, and I’m intensely grateful for the dear ones in my life that are there because of NET (the Young Queen especially!). But there’s always the other people that I wish I could have had the time and opportunity to really get to know, because they are so amazing that I wish I could have them in my life every day.
This is when the concept of heaven is immensely comforting! Cuz in heaven, I can get to know them, and in heaven, we will be best friends. In heaven, all the mistakes and limitations in the world won’t harm my relationships, and I and everyone around me will be able to love purely and freely and totally – like Christ loves.
Oh, friends, I really want to go to heaven!