There is way too much stress in my life right now. There’s just so much going on, and I can’t keep up. I’m not good at dealing with personal failure, or not living up to the standards I set for myself. I’m trying hard to surrender things, but it’s a struggle. Meanwhile, I get wound tighter and tighter and tighter inside. I have so much to do that it’s been hard to even think about it – my mind just kindof whites out with a stress/panic overload. This is pretty extreme stress for me, but last night I went to a whole new level. I got so stressed I would forget to breathe, and then I would start to hyperventilate. It was bad.
This is what helped: first, after youth group the other leaders prayed over me. Then I picked up my most excellent Indy, who got freaked out by my level of stressed-ness and insisted I stay back in the car to talk while the others went into Roosters (that’s where we went to hang out after youth group). That helped a lot, and by the time we went in I wasn’t forgetting to breathe anymore. Then Monsieur Applesauce gave me what is probably the best back rub I’ve ever had in my life. Seriously. By the time he was done I was so relaxed I could barely hold my fork. It was really, really good. Then I went home and slept. That was good too. Today I still have way too much to do, but I’m at a much more healthy level. I think maybe if I can get a back rub like that once or twice a week until December 21, I might just survive this thing! And yes, that’s a hint.
In other news, this weekend (well, really Sunday and Monday) I learned two new swing dances! It was very cool. The first one was Balboa, which we used to call the No Room For Jesus Dance. Basically, you and the guy smush your chests together, stick your butts out so you have enough room to move your feet, and take teeny little steps back and forth while trying not to kick each other in the shins. It’s definitely a getting-over-personal-space-issues dance. When I was first learning it I kept looking down and to the side, which has the unfortunate side effect of giving the guy a faceful of my hair. I stopped after Red yelled at me about it, but it took me a while to figure out why I was doing it. I realized that it was a distancing thing. I’m not used to being in such close contact with a guy for so long. So I’m working on getting over that because, as unused to this as I am, I really like Balboa!
The second dance wasn’t nearly so intense – it’s the Shim Sham, a swing line dance. It’s pretty involved, and incorporates a lot of jazz moves with awesome names like Tacky Annies and Shortie Georges. I’ve been practicing it whenever I can ever since. I still can’t do the claps and extra moves that people throw in, but I’m getting there!