Pope St. Celestine V

I was going to go swing dancing this weekend.  I’d paid my registration, RSVP’d for my housing assignment, figured out my budget for gas, started planning my packing list, even informed my family that I would not be available.  I had been looking forward to this for a while, hoping that it would be the weekend that would remind me of why I love swing dancing so much, something that’s been hard to remember lately as it’s gotten progressively more and more buried under a load of relationship & community dysfunction.  It was kinda like when a couple’s relationship is strained, so they go away for the weekend to rekindle that old spark.  I figured, a weekend away, maybe a few really good dances, the kind I haven’t had in a while, seeing some old friends, and I’d be good to go again, at least for a while.

Alas, instead I am currently sprawled across the futon in my living room here in Dayton.  There is no dancing anywhere remotely near, and I couldn’t participate even if there were.  You see, on Wednesday I did Something Bad to my leg.  I was at the usual Wednesday Night Swing, dancing with Bounce.  It was my first dance of the night, to Madeleine Peyroux’s I Wish I Could Shimmy Like My Sister Kate, which is my favorite version of one of my favorite songs of all time.  We were maybe a minute into the song, when I stepped back on my left leg, and felt/heard something go “pop” in my calf.  And that was it.  I was done dancing.  Bounce helped me get over to one of the chairs at the side, and then stood near me offering me water and grapes and anything he could think of to make things better.  It was very sweet.

Unfortunately, since the sudden pain was making me a bit nauseous, grapes and water weren’t much help.  However, soon after I was able get Swing Snark’s attention, and asked her if she would take a look at the problem.  Swing Snark is an Athletic Trainer, so she knows about these things.  She moved my foot and leg around, did the whole “Does this hurt?” thing, and told me that it appeared that my tendons & ligaments were fine, so it was probably either a muscle strain or tear.  I should ice it relentlessly for the first 24 hours, take ibuprofen, start stretching it after a day or so, and if it didn’t get significantly better in 3-5 days, see a doctor.  I found all of this extremely reassuring (I had been trying to worry through whether or not I could afford to go to the ER, and then which one would be best), and I’m so grateful that she was there.

Once I knew what the problem was, and that it wasn’t, like, life threatening or something, I had some other problems to deal with.  Like how I was going to get home.  My little car is a stick-shift, so I couldn’t drive it if I couldn’t use my left leg.  And then, if I could get someone to come get me, how would I get my car home?  And then how was I going to get to work in the morning?  Things like that.  As it turned out, the answers were as follow: Dad and Indy came to get me, the car stayed out by the dance studio until Thursday night when Johnnycakes and Pippi teamed up to help me retrieve it, Mariah volunteered to get me to work, and Pippi brought me home again.

Being a little bit disabled the last few days has made me realize how much crankiness and pride I have lurking under my usually sweet surface.  It’s hard for me to ask for help, even when I genuinely need it.  On Thursday I nearly didn’t get any lunch at all because I was too prideful to ask one of my co-workers to go get me a salad from the cafeteria, and too cranky to make the trip myself, knowing that I was going to have to be nice to all the people who would want to stop me to ask what happened.  And then, I know that compared to what some people deal with every day, this isn’t all that much pain, but it still has me completely worn out by the end of the day.  So I’m also getting a lesson in exactly how whiny I can be.

It also reminds me how much work dealing with a disability is.  For example, I need to go grocery shopping.  However, while I think I could do the actual shopping (I’d have a cart to hold onto after all), getting to the grocery store is a problem.  I haven’t tried driving again yet, and I’m worried about whether or not I’ll be able to make it both there and back.  And then once I get the groceries home, how will I get them into the house?  The answer to this problem seems to be to get someone to go with me, but I’m so unused to having to coordinate my schedule with anyone else’s that it’s taken me a few days to arrange things.  So far the plan is that Johnnycakes will go with me, both to help carry things, and to drive the two of us home if I can’t, and we’re going to go just as soon as he gets up from his nap.  Any time now.  I think.

The bright side is that little by little, my leg is getting better.  Today I’ve been able to walk around the house without the cane, and with only a few mishaps.  I’m starting to be able to stretch my calf muscle.  My steps are still slow and halting, but I’m getting there.  Hopefully by Monday I will be able to get myself both to work and home again.  And maybe before too long I’ll even be able to dance again.  I’ll look forward to that.

St. Casimir

This morning when I went to Mass, I didn’t use the special book with the new Mass responses.  Well, I did, but only two times, when Father specifically said to look at a particular page.  (“And now we will kneel and say our Penitential Act found on page 2″)  Plus, every time that Father said, “Peace be with you.”  for the first time ever I managed to say, “And with your spirit.” in response.  Every single time.  Sure, a couple of times it came out sorta like “And also with your spirit.” but we do not press that point.  We overlook it.

Those of you who are not Catholic, or who don’t go to Mass all that often may not understand what a big deal this is.  The thing is that ever since the Catholic Mass was translated into English after Vatican II (fifty-ish years ago), every time Mass has been said in the English speaking world, there have been standard prayers and responses that you say the same way every single time.  For thirty some years I’d been praying the Mass the same way, responding, “And also with you” when the priest said “Peace be with you,” etc.  Then this past December we got a new English translation of the Mass, one that is more faithful to the original Latin.  This caused no end of ructions, whining, and frustration when, for the first time in years people had to actually look at the order of Mass while they were saying it.  And for the life of me, I could not get it right.  Until today.

For the record, I like the new translation, even if it did change one of my favorite prayer from, “In your mercy keep us free from sin and protect us from all anxiety.” to something a little less satisfying, asking to be kept “safe from all distress” which is not at all the same as anxiety.  At least the prayer I find most comforting, when we ask God to “look not on our sins, but on the faith of your Church” stayed substantially the same.  And overall, I think it is a good thing.  The translations for other languages were much more literal than the old English translation, so by switching we’re bringing ourselves more in line with the Universal Church, which is awesome.  I mean, isn’t one of the big cool things about being Catholic that wherever you go anywhere in the world, the Mass is still the Mass, and the Church is still the Church?  Still, the new translation is taking a little getting used to.

When I got home from Mass, I made myself some breakfast, and settled in for a nice morning of catching up on all the internet-y goodness my work’s firewall prevents me from enjoying during the week (see also: facebook).  And little by little I started to freeze.  At first I thought it was just because it was a cold day,and we keep our house pretty cold on general money-saving principals.  It was only a little while ago, when even a wool skirt, thick tights, long sleeved shirt, wool sweater, and wool scarf were not enough to stop me from freezing, that I got up and looked at the thermostat.  Lo and behold, somehow the thermostat had been turned down to 44°F, and the temperature inside our house was down to 50°F. Which is, you know, cold.

So we fixed it.  The temperature is now 51°F.  Hopefully it will continue to rise.

Last night I met some of my CL friends for dinner at the Japanese steak house by the Dayton Mall.  It was a lot of fun.  I ended up sitting between The Thinker and two other guys at the end of the grill, which resulted in jokingly jealous texts from Pippi and Little J asking why I got to sit with all the boys. (To which I replied, “Milkshakes.”)  Afterwards we decided we wanted to go bowling, but of course at 9pm on a Saturday night, there’s an hour wait for a lane.  At that point most of our group decided they were done for the night and headed home.  The bowling alley was right across the street from the discount movie theatre, so a few of us headed over to watch whatever movie was up next.  This turned out to be Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, which turned out to be… not quite as horrible as it could have been.  I guess.  I had a feeling that if I’d been in a more slaphappy mood, or maybe with a different, sillier group of friends, it could have been awesome.  But instead it just… wasn’t.  Still, there are many worse ways to spend a Saturday night.

My plans for the rest of the weekend mostly involve drinking more coffee, maybe getting some housework done, and knitting on my fair isle hot water bottle cover while watching a movie.  Luckily I don’t need to do laundry, since I washed my uniforms while waiting for the brownies to bake on Thursday, so I don’t need to compete with Rosie and Johnnycakes for the washer & dryer today.  In a bit I’ll head over to the Family Homestead to eat homemade lasagna with whoever is assembled there.  And it will be good.

See?  I do too have a life outside of work.

St. Ambrose

First of all, I would like to start by thanking all of you for your amazing response to my last post.  I even got a few e-mails from friends & family members weighing in on my situation!  In the end I decided to go with the hospital job.  It was a hard decision, and I worried over it all day Monday.  I decided to sleep on it, and when I woke up Tuesday I knew what my decision had to be.  As soon as I made up my mind, all of the trouble and doubt of the previous day cleared away, and I was back to feeling pleasantly excited about the new job.  It seems like such a great opportunity – I feel a little like a child waiting for Christmas when you know a particularly delightful present is going to be under the tree.

Today and tomorrow I’m working out at the construction site for the new hospital making badges for all the contractors and others who are working on the building.  So far it’s been rather slow.  It was busy for a bit this morning, but that finished off with two really, really cute construction workers, and since then I’ve had no one.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a bit busier.

It’s been a rather exciting week at our house.  First there was my dilemma over jobs, and then Rosie seriously injured her back.  She was lifting weights, and decided to do some squats even though she knew her back has been extra sensitive lately.  Sure enough, her back went out, and since then she’s been confined to the futon in the living room.  This has proven problematic when it comes to things like, say, making it to the bathroom on the second floor.  However, we’re enormously lucky that The Absent-minded Professor just finished his college term and is home for the holidays.  He’s been waiting on Rosie literally hand and foot.  (“AP, could you put my socks on for me?”)  Little by little, with the help of ice packs, muscle relaxants, and pain killers, she’s been starting to regain a little mobility.  This afternoon she had a doctor’s appointment, which I hope will help even more.

Funnily enough, one of the side effects of Rosie’s injury has been a major uptick in the number of movies I’ve been watching.  Monday night when I came home from swing club to find Rosie incapacitated on the futon, AP had just put in Sweeney Todd to help distract her from the pain.  And while Sweeney Todd is an excellent movie, it’s maybe not the wisest choice for a situation like that.  Fortunately, I had just gotten Crazy, Stupid, Love. from Netflix, so we put that in instead, and all of us in the house, even Johnnycakes, ended up sitting around watching it together.  Just about every movie with Steve Carrell ends up being awesome, but I also have to say that I now see why Ryan Gosling inspires internet memes.  Then last night Cinder brought over Attack The Block.  I only meant to stay up a little while I finished up some internet surfage, but I ended up staying for the entire movie, and really, really liking it.  And, well, this has been fun, but I gotta start getting some sleep!

St. Josaphat of Polosk

It is very quiet in the house just now.  Rosie is still fast asleep in her bed.  I have no idea where Johnnycakes is (I often don’t), but if he’s here he’s likely fast asleep as well.  The load of laundry I started a bit ago is swishing and tumbling in the basement.  I’ve eaten my breakfast (leftover Chinese), and am about to get up and make my first cup of tea.  Or maybe coffee.  I haven’t decided.  Either way, it’s good to sit here in the chair by the window, with the sunshine streaming in, and the branches dancing in the breeze beneath the clear blue skies above.  In a little while, after the wash is done cycling and the supply of hot water is secure, I’ll go take my shower.  Today is Sweetness’ wedding day, so around noon most of the family (including The Duchess and 007 who drove in from Philadelphia last night) will be piling into The Jesus Van to head north to attend.  We all love Sweetness very much, so it’s a special joy for us to see this day come.

This past Wednesday night was swing dancing.  Wednesday night has meant swing dancing for me pretty much every night for the past six years, so this is nothing new.  However, what is new is how much fun it was.  You see, our local swing scene has been struggling for a while.  I won’t go into details, but basically a lot of the more experienced dancers have gotten very burnt out, a lot of the newer dancers haven’t stuck around, and it’s turned into the kind of situation where you end up spending way more time standing around talking to your friends than you do dancing.  I tried to fight this for a while, but I felt like I was the only one, and after a while even I got tired.  There was a lot going on in my life, sometimes my health was not good (it’s hard to be enthusiastic about dancing when you’re having trouble breathing), and well, whatever.  To make a long story short, we needed something to change.

Recently Dove decided that she was going to Do Something about this.  She decided to start with adjusting her own attitude.  The reason she comes to the Wednesday night dances, she decided, was to dance.  So she needed to get out there and make her dances happen.  This meant inviting everyone to dance, even the new guy who was going to forget to lead, the guy who never asked her to dance back, even the one guy who smells kinda funny.  We talked about this new attitude together, and I decided that I was willing to give it another try myself.  So last Wednesday we made it a competition.  We were going to dance with every single guy there, and the first girl to complete the set won.  And you know what, it was really fun!  I danced about three times as much as I usually do, I had a couple of good dances and no actively bad ones.  I even got a couple of the new girls sitting shyly on the sidelines to go ask some of the guys to dance too.  The energy Dove and I were putting into the dance seemed to spread, and before you knew it, even people who almost never dance were dancing.  (Long John, who never, never asks me to dance, actually asked me to dance.  I was a little stunned.)  It ended up being one of the most fun Wednesday nights I’ve had in a very long time.

The other part of Dove’s plan to revitalize Dayton swing dancing is to see if she can resurrect the monthly Saturday dances.  When I first started dancing we had big dances on the first Saturday of every month, but after a while attendance started to dwindle, and then about a year and a half ago (I don’t remember exactly when because by that time even I had stopped going) they were dropped.  However, Dove has been working hard on giving them another try.  We’re starting this December with what we’re calling Swing In The Snow on Saturday, December 3.  So far people are really responding, and it looks like it’s going to be a great time!  So if you’re not doing anything on December 3, why not come and join us?  No partner or dancing experience required, just come ready to have fun!

Want to help spread the word?

Download the full size flyer: Swing In The Snow Flyer

Four to a page for easy distribution: Swing In The Snow Flyer – quarter size

St. Francis of Assisi

These seem to be the days when things start to change.  The leaves are finally starting to turn, the weather is changing, and it seems like so much in my life is changing too.  We just had our Family Christmas Planning session, and the big question this year was how to accommodate all the various family members we’ve added this year.  Do Sunny and Honey want to be part of the family gift exchange, or should we just include them in a big box of things we’ll send off to China?  How about 007?  Will The Duchess and 007 even be in Dayton for Christmas Day at all, or will they come later?  We’re changing the Mass we usually go to from Midnight Mass to the early evening Children’s Mass, which means changing the whole way we celebrate Christmas Eve.  We’re doing Christmas Stockings on Christmas Eve this year instead of Christmas Morning, something that would have been completely unthinkable just a year ago.  Plus, we’ve decided not to have our annual New Years Day Huge Family Party this year – it’s just too much on top of everything else we’ve done this year.  Which leaves the question of, if we’re not putting on an elaborate dinner for 40 of our nearest and dearest, what will we do on New Year’s Day?  Right now it’s looking like we’ll have our Family Presents then, but that depends on when The Duchess and 007 will be in town.  So it’s a lot of questions, a lot of changes, and not all of them easy ones.

My job situation is changing too, and quickly!  It’s a little surreal.  For so long it seemed like I just couldn’t get a break, and now suddenly within the space of a month, it seems like I can’t interview for jobs fast enough.  First there’s the process to get me hired on officially (so I can get benefits, etc.) at my original job.  All of the paperwork has finally cleared HR, and this morning Boss J informed me that she and the rest of the search committee would like to “interview” me at 11:15 tomorrow at Tank’s Bar & Grill.  She said to prepare myself for many searching questions, and possibly also an obstacle course.  I asked if it was allowable, given the setting, for me to buy my interviewers a beer.  We referred that question to the Big Boss, who said that he had the utmost confidence in my search committee’s unwavering integrity, and inability to be unduly influenced by any beer-buying (that means yes).  This may be the most awesome interview I’ve ever had.

And then, on top of things, while I was home sick with a migraine yesterday, I got a call from the people I interviewed with on Friday offering me the job.  So starting sometime after I finish training, I’ll be working 8 hours a week as the HR receptionist at a small regional hospital a little under twenty miles away.  The pay is just enough to cover the gas I’ll use, and there’s a distinct possibility that, although this is part-part time now, it may turn into full time sometime in the next 6-12 months.  The best part is that, added to the jobs I already have, this puts me up to just about full time hours.  So as soon as I start working there, I will be working full time for the first time in a little over two years.

Also, on Thursday, I had my first ever English as a Second Language (ESL) tutoring session.  I’m teaching a very, very sweet young Saudi Arabian woman who has been in the US with her husband for seven months now.  She’s taking English classes at WSU, and hopes to transition into their biology program as soon as her language skills are up to par.  It’s been fascinating working with her so far.  I don’t realize how many idioms, or slang words I use until I have to explain things to her.  For example, I said something was “cheerful,” which was a word she hadn’t heard before.  So while explaining that, I ended up explaining the concept of “cheer”, to “cheer someone up”, and cheerleaders.  We didn’t digress into “be of good cheer.”  At that point her eyes were starting to glaze over, and I thought we’d better get back to the writing assignment we were working on before I lost her entirely.  That escapade aside, so far it seems to be going quite well.

Another thing that seems to be changing is my living situation.  For a little over a year and a half now, I’ve lived happily with Rosie and Johnnycakes in our little townhouse down the street from Mariah and just around the corner from the Family Homestead.  Still, as some of you noted (coughMaicough), the incredible deal of renting an entire house for only $275 is just too good to pass up.  However, this bargain seems to be particularly irresistible, not for me, but for Rosie.  For a number of reasons, she’s been thinking about moving out for a while.  The layout of the house isn’t particularly conducive to having three roommates (e.g. I have to go through Rosie’s room to get to mine, which means she doesn’t have any space that is completely private), plus she’s been thinking that all her life she’s never not lived with members of her immediate family.  Also, she’s making some big changes in her life, and as much as Johnnycakes and I love her, I think maybe we aren’t the best people to help support her through those changes.  Personally, I don’t really have any desire to move.  I hate moving with a deep and abiding passion, and I hate the thought of losing the sunny workroom I love so much.  Plus, now that my employment status is looking better, perhaps I can afford a larger share of the rent.  So we’re thinking that sometime this Fall or early this Winter, Rosie will probably be moving.

Honestly, the thought of this makes me sad.  I’ve really enjoyed living with Rosie.  I think we work together well in a lot of ways.  And while I enjoy Johnnycakes very much, he’s just not home much.  Sometimes I don’t see him for days in a row.  Without Rosie, the house would be pretty lonely.  And it’s not like she’ll be moving far.  But still.

Sigh.

Lots of changes.